Deadline drama

I got an email two days ago that said I had 25 pages due by May 26th for the Advanced Fiction class in Aspen. My last day of school isn't until May 22nd. The workshop itself isn't until June 22nd. I emailed back and asked if I was accidentally signed up for a novel class, and the lady said no, the teacher just asks for you "best work," so if you are working on a short story right now, that'll be fine.

My immediate reaction was to kind of freak out and try to get out of the deadline, but I've already paid, the flight's booked, it's happening. I realize now that I've been imagining a leisurely month of working on my story at coffee shops and getting it just right before the send off. But life's not usually like that, right? I think I've been kidding myself--writing is something that will always go on alongside the rest of the events in my life. I'll be stealing minutes here and there. Like Drew from toothpastefordinner.com says, "Just do it when you're supposed to be doing something else."

I will not let this turn into another end-of-the-year chore. I've got research papers, journals, and reading quizzes to grade, grades to finalize, a final exam to make, and I've been knowing about all of these for a long time and managing. I can definitely handle it, but now I'm going to have to think about this new deadline as something to devote leisure time to--not another thing I'm going to scurry around with like a rat.

This is something I enjoy doing, and if I race through it to try to get it done, the writing's going to be crap. If I write it out of fear, imagining that some really strong authors are going to think it's crap, it's going to read like I'm trying too hard. If I don't remember to enjoy the process, then what the hell's the point?

This is for a workshop, which is designed to help you edit your stuff, so I just need to remember that. I'm not showing off, I'm not looking for the teacher's approval. I'm writing it because I started writing it for no defined reason (other than the fact that I thought it was something I'd like to get down on paper) back in February and it probably really needs some strangers to read it and give some constructive feedback, just like everything else I've ever written.

I've got about 12-13 pages of roughness, so far. I feel really rusty, but I'm also having fun with it when I do get a few minutes.