Apparently all it takes is sunshine and cold weather to motivate me to exercise. I live in the wrong state.
The timing of the weather is a lucky thing, because boy have I eaten some junk this holiday season. Let's face it--the most exciting thing about holiday parties, besides the good company of course, is the sheer variety of food (unless carols and Mad Gab really do it for you). Oh, and the alcohol. That's where the wide-eyed grazing really starts for me. A few wines in and I'm a bottomless pit.
But thankfully, the big eating parties are over, and though there's still drinking to be had (New Year's, I mean it's inevitable), I can set my sights on getting back into cooking and exercising.
Now, anyone who's ever read this little bloggy knows that I struggle with consistency, in terms of getting in shape. Most people don't believe me when I say this because it seems that I'm always running off to dance rehearsals and yoga classes. From the outside, my life seems fairly active. But it works out to where I only very occasionally attend yoga (max is squeezing it in once a week during school weeks) and dance rehearsals are not always very strenuous (sometimes they consist of sitting around while other dancers rehearse other parts). I haven't been to a ballet class since October, which is like saying "I'm a body builder but I haven't touched a weight in three months. Oh, but yeah, I've been oiling up and working on my poses." Also, when I'm in dance or yoga classes, I'm always frustrated with my level of physical performance (i.e., I feel heavy, I tire easily, and I hurt.). It's no fun, either, to always be looking at my flabby areas in the mirror (dancer clothes hide nothing). Those areas may not ever go away completely, but if I felt more physically capable, I probably wouldn't worry over them as much.
Some of these are neurotic dancer-thoughts (example: my tall, thin professional dancer friend told me a few days ago that she wears blazers because she doesn't like to show her arms.), but mostly I'm just plain not-in-shape because I haven't been organized and consistent enough (because I always want to lay down and die after teaching). I believe I am easily capable of being organized and consistent enough, though, and the thought of feeling more energetic and capable gets me excited.
I usually don't take the New Year's Resolution tradition very seriously, but I plan to go back to my original goal of two ballet classes per week and adding a goal of daily mild cardio exercise. The rut I have fallen into is that in my mind, if I have a dance rehearsal, I can't also take a thirty minute walk outside. But the thing is, I can. Especially since a lot of my rehearsals are not true work-outs.
Since I haven't had any company classes or rehearsals over the holidays, it's been a perfect time to focus exclusively on walking and jogging. I did have the sobering thought that eating holiday junk and not going to work (which probably burns quite a few calories) was going to fairly cancel out any progress on the getting-in-shape front, but at least I'm working my muscles.
Leif bought me a pedometer, and I discovered that the big four mile lake is a bit more than 8000 steps for me. (Doctors recommend 10,000 steps a day for optimum health, so that's a pretty big chunk. Makes you think about how much healthier it is to live in a city where walking is a natural part of your day.) We tried the big lake out on Saturday--I don't usually attempt that one because I tend to get bored, overwhelmed, and tired (also when I start on that loop, I get this oh shit feeling like there's no turning back--especially once "turning back" means a further walk than finishing the loop).
In the past nine days, I've done seven--we'll call them cardio sessions. The first of these was a three mile jaunt with my parents in their hilly neighborhood. The next day, I started out my little 2-miler (around my neighborhood and part of the lake) with a jog and finished with a walk. I've since tested jogging two more times, each time adding some distance before I turn it into a walk. I've always wondered what it would feel like to build some endurance and be able to jog a set distance, like two or three miles. I added a few more bouts of jogging to my route today and felt a really nice high at the end of it. Even though both calves and achilles tendons start throbbing pretty instantly, I can keep going up until the point that my right side seizes with a cramp. When this doesn't happen immediately, and I'm able to cover some distance, I feel like a superhero.
I'm pretty sure I'm always going to be the kind of person that likes to have a drink and a treat of some kind at the end of the day--it might be homemade bread and butter, a handful of chocolates, or a chunk of nice cheese. Sometimes I like to sit outside and drink a beer after I exercise (thereby immediately refilling the calories I just burned). I don't think I want to go all Special K and cut these things out, so I guess we'll see if it's possible to get in shape and eat delicious food at the same time.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
she called me a Grinch
Hoo y'all, I haven't been here in a while.
So, last Thursday, day before the last day before Christmas break and the end of the first semester, one of my students says to me:
"Ms. W, you don't like to have fun, do you?"
She sits in the front in one of my honors classes. She's a short African American girl with flat ironed hair, hoop earrings, and boots over her jeans. She looks like she just stepped of The CW channel and she's got a sassy cool demeanor that comes from not being very aware of herself or other people--i.e., she says exactly what's on her mind without forethought, but also without ill intention. We'll call her "P."
"Why do you say that?" I say from my desk. I was reading the student newspaper. We are all sitting in "study hall" right before their exam.
"Well, you said you don't use text language and you said you weren't going to do Santa Claus with your kids."
"That's why I'm no fun?" Yes, I immediately got defensive. She'd found me out.
"Well, and you said that thing we did yesterday was supposed to be fun." She was referring to grammatically dissecting "The Jabberwocky" as review for the final. I admit now that it got a bit tedious.
"You just haven't met me outside of school," I said. Which is funny, because there's probably not a huge difference between the two, which she must have sensed in my tone--she gave me a look that said she was not convinced. But there ARE nuanced differences. In school, I
Plus, I never explained that I WAS going to do the Santa thing with my future kids--I just don't plan on lying to them and telling them there was a man in the house last night and he's the one that left all these presents. As Sarah Dee pointed out, "Who would miss Santa? You get presents while eating for three days straight."
P was studying character notecards with her friend (for MY midterm, I might add) when I abruptly interrupted them. "I bet you'd be surprised to know that I do facebook," I said.
"Really?" she said.
"Really. But I don't friend students. And I dance," I added.
"What kind of dance? Contemporary modern?" Apparently this didn't count.
Another kid said, "Have you ever done hip hop?"
"Yes," I said, which was followed by incredulous laughter. "You know, my sister is a hip hop choreographer. She's very good."
Then I was talking to another girl about wanting to go see The Princess and the Frog and I said I'd heard a good interview about it on NPR.
"Well P, there's another strike against me being fun," I said, continuing the conversation unnecessarily. "I listen to NPR." My brother had called me "old" two days previously for listening to that instead of CDs in my car (which I used to do more often).
"This just doesn't sit right with you, does it?" said P.
I thought "No" and I said, "It's just a fun game at this point."
While they were taking their midterm, I remembered something. About two weeks previously, as I was walking the class back from the library, P walked next to me and asked if I ever straighten my hair.
"No." I said.
"Why not?" she said.
"It doesn't really look that great," I said. "And I just think hair should be natural." Which is a stupid thing to say to a girl who obviously doesn't want to wear an afro.
"I think you should do it one day. Just once," she said.
"Okay. Maybe one day," I said. I probably wont.
Then another day, she said to me, "You must really like those shoes."
I was wondering when a kid was going to say something. I wear these shoes everyday because 1) they are the only shoes that don't hurt to teach in and 2) it's one less decision to make in the morning.
I said, "They're like shoes for nurses. They're good for your back."
"Ohh," she said. She seemed relieved.
When she finished her midterm and came up to the front of the classroom to turn it in, I smirked at her from behind the podium.
"What are you about to say?" said P. "I can tell you want to say something."
I told her I remembered the comments about my hair and shoes, and now today with the "no fun" accusations. "I'm onto you," I said. "I think you're trying to give me a complex."
She just laughed, went back to her desk, and put in her ipod earbuds.
I've done a few things lately that I would consider "fun" and that I might typically say "no" to. One was that I danced in a "wearable art" fashion show. It was something extra to sign up for, and it was my first time doing improv in public. Next, I went shopping with some old friends and bought two dresses that are very short (and meant to be worn with leggings, I guess. That's how I'm going to wear them, at any rate). After changing into one of these in preparation for a family Christmas party yesterday, I painted my fingernails aqua to match the polka dots in the dress. I probably haven't painted my nails in at least five years, and they haven't been blue since I was eleven. Also, one of my friends went to Roller Derby practice with our other friend, and my first reaction when I heard it was "Oo, call me next time y'all go."
Are all of these things direct reactions to P? The wearable art show happened before P's comments, but everything else came after. Is it lame that a shallow teenager touched a nerve in me? Yes, it is. But it also couldn't hurt to experiment with things that I don't immediately deem "things I would normally do everyday." Because lord knows my job makes me feel prematurely--well, mature, and I got an idea somewhere along the way that "uptight, serious, smart, and strict" were the only ways to be if I was going to be an effective teacher. In other words, I subconsciously believed I should directly mimic the professor who taught me how to teach.
"You're just so--professional," said one girl, helping P plead her case. "We don't know anything about you."
And it's going to stay that way, missy, I thought. Then I thought about how I was about to be off school for two weeks and that I have friends who planned a camping trip and a trip to New Orleans and how lots of old friends are coming in from out of town. Thinking about this during exams made it super exciting. Except for the fact that I'm laying around in my PJs, I don't feel old at all right now.
Hooray for vacation!
So, last Thursday, day before the last day before Christmas break and the end of the first semester, one of my students says to me:
"Ms. W, you don't like to have fun, do you?"
She sits in the front in one of my honors classes. She's a short African American girl with flat ironed hair, hoop earrings, and boots over her jeans. She looks like she just stepped of The CW channel and she's got a sassy cool demeanor that comes from not being very aware of herself or other people--i.e., she says exactly what's on her mind without forethought, but also without ill intention. We'll call her "P."
"Why do you say that?" I say from my desk. I was reading the student newspaper. We are all sitting in "study hall" right before their exam.
"Well, you said you don't use text language and you said you weren't going to do Santa Claus with your kids."
"That's why I'm no fun?" Yes, I immediately got defensive. She'd found me out.
"Well, and you said that thing we did yesterday was supposed to be fun." She was referring to grammatically dissecting "The Jabberwocky" as review for the final. I admit now that it got a bit tedious.
"You just haven't met me outside of school," I said. Which is funny, because there's probably not a huge difference between the two, which she must have sensed in my tone--she gave me a look that said she was not convinced. But there ARE nuanced differences. In school, I
- wear slacks and clogs
- refrain from all curse words except "hell," "crap," and the rare "damn"
- speak standard English as much as possible
- am more serious and "on task"
- call things "fun" that are "boring"
- fuss
- wear jeans and only shoes that are not clogs
- curse
- speak in silly voices and exaggerated slang
- like to procrastinate and get "off task"
- enjoy drinking with friends
- fuss
Plus, I never explained that I WAS going to do the Santa thing with my future kids--I just don't plan on lying to them and telling them there was a man in the house last night and he's the one that left all these presents. As Sarah Dee pointed out, "Who would miss Santa? You get presents while eating for three days straight."
P was studying character notecards with her friend (for MY midterm, I might add) when I abruptly interrupted them. "I bet you'd be surprised to know that I do facebook," I said.
"Really?" she said.
"Really. But I don't friend students. And I dance," I added.
"What kind of dance? Contemporary modern?" Apparently this didn't count.
Another kid said, "Have you ever done hip hop?"
"Yes," I said, which was followed by incredulous laughter. "You know, my sister is a hip hop choreographer. She's very good."
Then I was talking to another girl about wanting to go see The Princess and the Frog and I said I'd heard a good interview about it on NPR.
"Well P, there's another strike against me being fun," I said, continuing the conversation unnecessarily. "I listen to NPR." My brother had called me "old" two days previously for listening to that instead of CDs in my car (which I used to do more often).
"This just doesn't sit right with you, does it?" said P.
I thought "No" and I said, "It's just a fun game at this point."
While they were taking their midterm, I remembered something. About two weeks previously, as I was walking the class back from the library, P walked next to me and asked if I ever straighten my hair.
"No." I said.
"Why not?" she said.
"It doesn't really look that great," I said. "And I just think hair should be natural." Which is a stupid thing to say to a girl who obviously doesn't want to wear an afro.
"I think you should do it one day. Just once," she said.
"Okay. Maybe one day," I said. I probably wont.
Then another day, she said to me, "You must really like those shoes."
I was wondering when a kid was going to say something. I wear these shoes everyday because 1) they are the only shoes that don't hurt to teach in and 2) it's one less decision to make in the morning.
I said, "They're like shoes for nurses. They're good for your back."
"Ohh," she said. She seemed relieved.
When she finished her midterm and came up to the front of the classroom to turn it in, I smirked at her from behind the podium.
"What are you about to say?" said P. "I can tell you want to say something."
I told her I remembered the comments about my hair and shoes, and now today with the "no fun" accusations. "I'm onto you," I said. "I think you're trying to give me a complex."
She just laughed, went back to her desk, and put in her ipod earbuds.
I've done a few things lately that I would consider "fun" and that I might typically say "no" to. One was that I danced in a "wearable art" fashion show. It was something extra to sign up for, and it was my first time doing improv in public. Next, I went shopping with some old friends and bought two dresses that are very short (and meant to be worn with leggings, I guess. That's how I'm going to wear them, at any rate). After changing into one of these in preparation for a family Christmas party yesterday, I painted my fingernails aqua to match the polka dots in the dress. I probably haven't painted my nails in at least five years, and they haven't been blue since I was eleven. Also, one of my friends went to Roller Derby practice with our other friend, and my first reaction when I heard it was "Oo, call me next time y'all go."
Are all of these things direct reactions to P? The wearable art show happened before P's comments, but everything else came after. Is it lame that a shallow teenager touched a nerve in me? Yes, it is. But it also couldn't hurt to experiment with things that I don't immediately deem "things I would normally do everyday." Because lord knows my job makes me feel prematurely--well, mature, and I got an idea somewhere along the way that "uptight, serious, smart, and strict" were the only ways to be if I was going to be an effective teacher. In other words, I subconsciously believed I should directly mimic the professor who taught me how to teach.
"You're just so--professional," said one girl, helping P plead her case. "We don't know anything about you."
And it's going to stay that way, missy, I thought. Then I thought about how I was about to be off school for two weeks and that I have friends who planned a camping trip and a trip to New Orleans and how lots of old friends are coming in from out of town. Thinking about this during exams made it super exciting. Except for the fact that I'm laying around in my PJs, I don't feel old at all right now.
Hooray for vacation!
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